Alright technically it has been about 2 weeks back and the unspoken ‘where’ of being back is campus. I’ve actually been back in the states for about 2 months.
And here are some definite things I have noticed:
1.Not being stared at is very calming and unnerving
2.My body is normal.
Not beautiful, not magnificent, but normal. I had a friend say to me ‘I was looking at you and I realized that you’re actually really pretty”. This is not a compliment. And don’t even get me started on buying clothes there. What a nightmare. I am about a size 1XL/18 in the states. In China, I’m about a 6XL. The default is so small compared to me or anything I’m used to. So its so incredibly comforting to see bodies just like mine at the store, or tripping on sidewalk. Because it’s normal, if it’s not “normal” in Shanghai.
3.I am terrified of my chinese falling behind.
I can attest to this being why my Russian is so bad. Practice doesn’t just make perfect, it also makes better than 5 y/o level.
4.I’m not sure how to sum up my experience.
For some reason (hopefully because SO MUCH is there to talk about) I am having a hard time blogging a cap to this. It was so different over there. I’m not even sure if I can say I liked it or not. I mean, I’ sure it was worth it but I’ve been asked if I wold live in China more times than I can count. And every single time I’m not sure.
This week back feels like limbo. Everything is still oranges and i’m feeling a lot of pressure to make juice. I might be sacred to do it because I don’t know if it’ll taste good. But I know there’s juice there.