I wrote an amazing post. Didn’t save it. I am a mess, on the floor, crying into the darkness-
I’m the annoying friend. Well, I should say I’m convinced I’m becoming one of the flavors of annoying friend. I feel like every five seconds, I’m asking anyone I’m around about my Chinese. “Is my grammar correct?” “Am I using the right ‘de’?” “How do you say ‘Unless’ but not like, ‘Unless you do this, this will happen’ but like ‘Do this thing for me, unless….‘ youknowwhatImean?” I’m sure I’m annoying somebody like this, even if my Chinese is getting better. And by ‘getting better’ I mean exponentially improving.
Even though, I think its worth it. I knew that going to a new country- China of all places- would mean I’m not everyone’s favorite. I’m not here to be loved by everyone. I’m tryna be fluent son. Gotta crack some eggs to do that. (and by eggs I mean friends’ tolerance level of me)
So far, Its working. Yesterday, I wrote two essays in Chinese. I can even order food on my own now. Granted, It still requires the use of ‘这个’ and ‘那个’ a ton,(and probably not in the right way) but I can definitely say which size coffee I want. I’m getting comfortable speaking. I hate to use the phrase ‘Chinglish’ because it is a little too similar to a certain slur, but its the closest representation of how I speak Chinese. Its amazing. I am a weird version of myself I never thought I’d be.
Speaking of being comfortable, it’s amazing what daily routine can do for one’s constitution! I’m well into my 5th week of classes, on a very small campus which means I know this place like the back of my hand. It’s great because ‘culture shock, who?’ but bad because I have anxiety about forgetting. Everything here is so different yet so similar. The classes are graded and conducted the same, yet I’m hearing about political systems I would never have heard about otherwise. I can still get chicken sandwiches down the road, but I’m more likely to get chicken feet and crab. Its all the little things. They kill me because this semester is very much a once in a lifetime experience, and I’m incredibly anxious about forgetting them.
All of this is to say I want to make an effort in writing them down, or documenting them. So I finally took the L. The one thing I’ve been trying to do for years, I started a vlog channel. And by Golly I uploaded my first vlog.
I want to put more towards just talking about my day or a crazy Shanghai trip or my job. Which I have! In China! (Can you say resume-builder?) But its more for me than for you. I know many of you would rather see paint dry than read about my mundane day-to-day. Unless you’re my mom/dad, hi mom hi dad.
I’ve been trying to balance living in the moment and documenting everything. Like a neurological trapeze artist. But entirely too anxious. Anyway, I hope you like the video. It took a week to edit, and a few more days to muster uploading it.(see my first video for why). I’ll see you in the future I guess! If not, my friends finally killed me.
¹10pts to whoever can tell me what I said. 50pts to whomever can correct my grammar.